Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hemp Diapers

So, I had my root canal yesterday. It wasn't bad at all. I had a good endontist do the work. I didn't feel a thing and during the procedure we had an interesting conversation going on. Full story and it has nothing to do with writing, I just wanted to share. 

Each of the rooms had a little television hooked up to satellite. It was tuned into the today show, which is fine but the program was drawing to a close and I had no desire to watch whatever was after that (Regis and Kelley or The View, I don't know but I didn't want to watch it). They asked if I wanted to watch anything else. While the urge to watch cartoons was great I resisted and told them to switch to channel 269 (The History channel for those of you without Directv). there was a documentary on called Killing Pablo about the Colombian drug lord Pablo Escebar. It was interesting and kinda violent but what little I watched (Most of the time I had my eyes closed as two people worked with their hands in my mouth for 3 hours) it was pretty interesting.

Because it did take three hours and I missed out on the first hour of the documentary they started in on a second documentary. This one was also drug related but it was about the spiral of drugs in the United States from legal status to illegality. Again, it was fascinating. the surgeon had a good laugh about the marijuana stamp act of 1937, which simply states that you needed a stamp (tax) to have pot, but you needed the pot to obtain the stamp. Since you didn't have the stamp before you obtained the pot it was illegal and you were in violation of the law. A real catch 22. This got his assistant talking about the diapers that she is using on her son. They are made of hemp fiber which her mother was worried that because hemp is weed that the drug would leech into his system and he would be the happiest baby in the world. She said it took her quite a while to convince her mother that this was not the case and this is when the endontist said, "If that was the case Mark (her husband I am assuming) would be wearing them on his head."

I really don't know if that had a point at all. Have a great Wednesday. :)

15 comments:

Barry Napier said...

I only read portions of this becuse dentists freak me out. I. Hate. Dentists.

Jamie Eyberg said...

Barry, they aren't my favorite people in the world either. My first experience with a dentist was an ancient man who had trained to be a doctor during the Korean War. Scary.

Aaron Polson said...

The Feds paid farmers around here to grow the stuff during WWI. Most of our doughboys wore it as belts and straps on their equipment. Diapers now? Sounds fine to me.

Natalie L. Sin said...

LOL at the diapers : )

Cate Gardner said...

How can you have a conversation when someone has their hands in your mouth???

You'd think my dentists practice antiquated. Actually I do. It's stuck in a bizarre 1970s timewarp and the dentist refuses to leave. One day I expect to leave wearing flares and flyaway colours.

Jamie Eyberg said...

Aaron, It is actually a pretty strong, and durable plant material. I know a lot of rope is still made from the stuff.

Nat, I am still laughing at the diapers, although I think if leaching were actually the case a lot of people would be wearing them.

Cate, My last dentist didn't change a thing since he started in 1951.

K.C. Shaw said...

Ha! Great story! I think I've seen that drug documentary too and it's very interesting. If I remember correctly, hemp is the non-intoxicating version of weed but it looks just like the weed version of weed so it's outlawed because people might sneak some of the outlawed version in among the hemp plants in the garden. Which is really stupid all around.

I'm glad the root canal went okay! My first dentist was an evil man named Dr. Armstrong who was a big proponent of pulling baby teeth instead of capping them (back then in the olden days people had caps instead of fillings). Fortunately Mom decided to take me to the nice dentist around the corner instead.

Jamie Eyberg said...

K.C., I think the hemp weed grows wild around here. I just put round-up on a bunch in the fence line. Either that or I just pissed off a grower. :)

Rebecca Nazar said...

Hey, happy hemp babies and mommies and daddies sounds good to me. Munchies might be a problem, though. Hemp Depends . . . hmmmmm.

Jamie Eyberg said...

Rebecca, imagine the possibilities.

katey said...

HAHAHA oh god, that is amazing. I won't say it's WORTH having the root cnala, but it's at least friggin hilarious.

And hey, all the founding fathers grew hemp. Not that we should be looking to them as an example, but--

Yeah. Hilarious.

Danielle Ferries said...

It's those conversations that make going to the dentist a little more bearable. My dentist and his assistant rarely ever say a word beyond the necessary questions.

Bobbie Metevier said...

Fun times when docs, nurses and other assistants have conversations between themselves across the expanse of your pried open mouth. :)

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